Well, school has been in session for one month now. That's as long as it took for me to get a call from the school about Will!!
As a parent your stomach gets a knot when you see
Greenfield Elementary on the caller ID. So I wondered, "Is he sick, did he get hurt?" Nope - not my son! Instead it's the principal calling to tell me she has Will in her office because he brought a pocket knife to school!! She said he found it in the car that morning, put it in his pocket then took it out to look at during library time.
I went to pick up Will and the knife, wondering the whole way what I was facing since these days bringing a weapon to school is taken seriously. I was also furious at Jerry - it was totally his fault that his pocket knife was left out where Will could find it. And of course he was too far away to be the one to suffer the embarrassment of going to the school.
Finally, just in case the situation wasn't bad enough, I walked into the principle's office to get Will and the first thing he says through his tears is, "Are you going to make me live in the shed now?" REALLY!?!?! I honestly had to turn my head to avoid laughing since I was completely at the end of my rope by this point. I could just picture my kid being suspended for bringing a knife to school and then the visit from social services wanting to check my shed for signs I've made Will live in there!!! Then the principal said, "See Will, I told you she wouldn't make you live in the shed." So apparently he's been sitting there the whole time telling her I would make him live in the shed!! If there had been a hole in her office floor I would have gladly crawled in at that point!!
After my discussion with Will about why we don't bring knives or dangerous objects to school (I didn't let you take your jumping beans this morning because they would be a distraction - don't you think a pocket knife is even a bigger distraction!?!?) and what the consequences would be (the worst of which was loosing the privilege of spending time with daddy looking at his special things) we left school with reassurance from the principal that Will certainly wasn't the first kid to bring in his daddy's pocket knife. Honestly though that did little to get Will (or Jerry) off the hook!
We spent the afternoon shopping at Walmart (Will's least favorite thing to do) and then doing homework. I hope this was a bad enough experience for him that this will be an isolated incident rather than the start of a trend!
I'm sure this is one of the things I will remember forever and laugh about for years to come but I'm still not quite to the point of laughing - I'm still half waiting for the call from social services! (Or at least the call revoking my appointment to room mother!)
UPDATE AND CLARIFICATION: (10/4/13)
Everyone is wondering "where did he come up with living in the shed?!" To clarify, I've threatened him with plenty of things but the shed hasn't been one of them. Apparently living in the shed is my child's equivalent of running away. Recently, any time he's mad at me (like when I'm too "ruley") he tells me "Fine, if you won't let me eat a cookie before dinner then I'm just going to live in the shed!" In thinking about it, I think it shows two things; he is smart and he is spoiled. Running away would mean missing out on the good things he has going on around here so the shed seems just far enough to dodge the rules but still get the rewards!